I have a competitive spirit. Y'all, it's so bad! I catch myself competing with nearly everything: the GPS, training classes, a ping pong table, the roster, I could not imagine being able to enjoy a trivia game.
At training last week their was a trivia game...sweaty palms and racing heart. I AM NOT LYING. I sort of wish I was. I won the game. I got my cream of the crop plastic gold corn. It's still sitting on my kitchen counter. Haha. It's going to my office for me to enjoy.
During my run this morning, I'm learning that the corn means more than a win. It's the sweet redemption of the Lord. Runs have become something I'm trying to learn to enjoy but most of all I enjoy my worship play list and solitude. It's nearly the only alone time I get daily.
This morning I prayed specifically for some relief. Some feelings, some anxiety then I put my new pink running shoes on and hit the bay. I'm always amazed at how God shows up for me. The perfect song, no humidity that woos me to spend a little more time on myself and enjoy where I live. It's a reminder that this is where I belong. I said last week sometimes I just want to pack it up and go to California. Go live in a big town where if people talk about you, you don't hear it. I know that's not our path right now, I know Fairhope is where we are supposed to be. A beautiful place to whether whatever the storms may be.
Back to the competitive spirit...I've always wondered where it comes from. What in your life sets a fire in your heart with a need to constantly prove in a tangible way that you are a winner. I am fully aware that my cream of the crop award means nothing in the true meaning of life but I can't help but think that the chip on my shoulder that I carry from rejection has instilled this deep desire to prove to myself that I am worthy. I know the arrogance in that statement. I am working on it. I know where my value comes from.
It is surprising to me the way the Holy Spirit coupled with introspect and prayer will give you the answers you are seeking. Today, I'm wearing the chip on my shoulder prouder than I normally would. Today, as I was enjoying the sweetest, coolest, no-humidty summer breeze on the bay, the song Set a Fire Came on- sweet perfection- "No place I'd rather be, No place I'd rather be, Than here in your love, here in your love"and that is the truth, there is no place I'd rather be.
Today, I encourage you to wear your chip proudly too. Find the beauty in rejection. Push forward. Kick the door down. Be a WARRIOR.