My darling.

Nine years ago today I found out that we were having a DAUGHTER. As long as I could remember I always imagined being a boy mom, never putting much thought into how many, etc. but I knew I'd be a Mom. I am a nurturer so it only seemed natural!

We had Cooper at 28 weeks and spent nearly 3 months in the NICU hitting all the milestones necessary to bring my baby boy home. He seriously is the coolest kid! Kind, Smart, Humble and FULL.OF.JOY.

After Cooper, we experienced 2 miscarriages. One was early on and one was not. That was hard.

But, then came this girl. This crying, chunky, squishy, big (9 lb 3 oz) sweet baby girl. Oh, she was so cute. She came into the world in a relaxed environment with no stress, no trauma, and lots of love.

I have been praying a lot for her (and me) lately as we reach this stage of life that is not my favorite. EIGHT. 8 isn't my favorite season. 8 comes with independence, attitude, peer pressure, and worldly influences. 8 hits you square in the face with the ability to lie. 8 hits you in the gut with the desire to wear a sports bra. 8 hits you in the heart with two boys in my class like me. 8 hits me with this overwhelming desire to shake her and scream that none of this matters, you'll never remember this when you are older, life is so much easier when you live for Jesus, and tell the truth, and desire to be modest! Eight finds me wanting to dull her spirit AND her flame. Eight has me being the Mom I can't stand. Eight has me reliving the kind of friend I was or wasn't. Eight has me trying to mold this tiny person into who I dream her to be before she figures out who she is. Eight has me only seeing the destination of later, not the journey of today. Eight has me anxious.

Eight should be exciting! We have 4 months until NINE. These next four months I am committing to letting her be her, with Mom caution, and a little daughter reckless abandon. To fanning her flames. To showing her how a Godly woman lives. And how beautiful modesty is. And how powerful integrity is. And how stunning she is.

Mama friends: Share your struggles. We are a village of badasses. I need to hear your hearts, your struggles, feel included in that it's not just me. Share your joys, your wins and excitement. I'll be praying for you and most of all, I'll be praying for our girls this season.

My darling daughter,

I love you so BIG. You make my heart skip a beat with your larger than life personality. I admire how you always want to go and do. I love the heart you have to want to be with your friends all.the.time. I intend to embrace your crazy ideas of melting skittles to make lip gloss. I intend to let you live out loud, put your feet on the walls when you are practicing gymnastics, and show you the awesome women in the Bible. I will show you how amazing being a young lady of this generation can be and will be. I will teach you what integrity means, through friendships and internally. I will show you how fun it is to be modest and you will teach me how fun embracing ourselves is and how to suck every ounce of fun out of each day. You inspire me little one.

Love, Mama